The heart wants what it wants

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The bed’s getting cold and you’re not here, the future that we hold is so unclear but I’m not alive until you call, And I’ll bet the odds against it all. Save your advice cause I won’t hear
You might be right but I don’t care, There’s a million reasons why I should give you up
But the heart wants what it wants, the heart wants what it wants. All the Selena Gomez fans I see you smiling and no, I am not writing about her lyrics because I can bet that you crammed them the second the song came out. Well, grab your handkerchief and let’s get deep into our feelings.

I got into her room and found her lying on her bed crying so heavily. I asked her: “Are you okay?” then she replied “I will be.” I could see in her eyes that she was really hurt, and she really needed someone to be there for her. I continued “Why are you allowing him to make you feel this way?” She added, “Because I love him.” For a moment I became speechless due to the intensity of those three words she uttered, “I love him”. That got me confused, but then I quietly said in a low voice “But you are not happy” this time she simply replied “The heart wants what it wants.” in that moment I was totally blown away by that statement.
Marianne was in a relationship with her boyfriend Brice for almost five years, two years of which were long distance. I mean, Brice was “her ride or die” since she was 16 years old when they were both in high school. Like any other normal couple, their relationship was not always perfect. They had their ups and downs, but they gave each other chances to make their relationship work. Throughout their relationship, Brice was being emotionally abusive, sometimes he could even get physically violent, but Marianne stayed in that relationship hoping that he’ll change. She had invested herself into it so much, it became hard for her to move on.
Love is a beautiful thing that happens to all of us and when we first fall in love we feel butterflies in our stomachs and we get a hightened sense of joy. I am not going to ask you what love is because each one of us has a different definition. When we stay in a relationship for too long, sometimes we start picturing our future with the person we are with because we tell ourselves that they are “the one”. We keep going even when we noticed some red flags that we don’t like in our partner telling ourselves no one is perfect. Right? Yes, we all have our imperfections and they make us who we are as individuals, but by embracing them and working on them we can become the perfect version of ourselves that we wish to see in others. For Marianne, she kept on going because she loved him and believed that one day Brice will change for her and their relationship would go back to being perfect as it used to be, but in vain she did not notice any change. That’s what her heart wanted: to make it work and keep growing strong. Even though she was so hurt and miserable, she had faith things would get better. When something/ Someone you really care for starts compromising with your inner peace, self-esteem, and self-respect I believe you are better off without that thing or person. But with all that’s been said, one would like to ask questions such as, Isn’t love something that is supposed to make us feel happy? Isn’t it something that is supposed to make us become better individuals by being with the one we love? Is love worth fighting for? What’s your take on this?

By Carrelle Niyigena

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